Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
