he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
