People in love make me want to vomit
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
