If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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