I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
