My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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