bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
