Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
This toilet bowl is my home.
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