dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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