I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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