on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
you never un-have a 4some
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
