After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
