so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Randomize
