im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
