thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
