I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
