You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
