I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
