I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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