my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
