considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
