Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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