"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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