I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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