hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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