you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
