Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
