i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
