yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
