Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
