Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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