I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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