If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
