i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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