I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
