My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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