I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
