Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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