Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
