just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
