Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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