I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
