I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
