i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
