none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he laminated a picture of his dick.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
