Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
