Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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