Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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