the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
