I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
